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“Does My Hair Look Okay?” (Vain Ones)
by Debbie Millican


I have known conceited people in my lifetime, and I think we are all guilty of being a little vain. Look at how much money women spend every year on make-up, jewelry, and clothes, not to mention shoes. I am not ashamed to say I have shoes to match every outfit in my closet and shoes for every occasion. I have a variety of styles and colors including stilettos, pumps, open-toed sandals, dressy sandals, casual sandals, flats, boots, tennis shoes, and flip-flops. Hell, I even have hiking boots and I don’t even hike. I like to look nice, and I take some time putting myself together when I am planning for a date. It is very important for all of us to put forth our best effort and present ourselves the best we can when going out. However, there is a big difference between feeling confident about your presentation because you know you have done the best you can with what you have and being arrogant and vain.

I met Chris online, and we did the traditional getting to know each other through several e-mails then followed up with phone calls before deciding to meet at a very nice restaurant near my apartment for dinner. We arrived around seven-thirty, and the hostess told us our wait would be about twenty minutes. Chris and I decided to go to the bar for a glass of wine while we awaited our table. He tried to impress me from the get go with his knowledge of fine wines.

Chris was an average looking guy with brown hair pushed to the side in an effort to hide pre-mature balding. He wore a designer jacket and an expensive tie. He had nice eyes and didn’t look quite the fifty stated in his personal profile. I think he could have been a nice enough person had he not been so in love with himself. He carried himself with an air of arrogance, always looking around the room to see who was looking at him.

By the time we reached our table, Chris had informed me of his monumental success in the realty business. He boasted of being one of the most eligible bachelors in the county owning a very big house, a boat, and a couple of nice cars. He said any woman would be crazy not to try and snag him. He bragged about all his money and how his family was part of the heritage of one of the oldest cities in the county. He was constantly raking his fingers through his hair and adjusting his very expensive tie. With every rake of his hair, I thought about the song by Shania Twain.

The evening continued with an endless one-sided conversation of his bragging. I didn’t feel he was interested in what I had to say at all because he enjoyed listening to himself so much. We had a delicious meal, and I had several glasses of expensive wine to help ease my pain.
I made it through the evening without dying of boredom from all of Chris’s bragging but needless to say, “He didn’t impress me much.”

What I learned: Vanity is not pretty! I learned to always be myself and be confident but not conceited. I learned that some men will always love themselves first and that it will be very difficult for a man like this to complement you. And I personally like compliments.

How to spot them: Easy, he's the guy with a mirror in his pocket and a comb up his sleeve. Really, you will see him often rake through his hair or adjust his clothes. He also looks around a lot to see if anyone is looking at, you guessed it, him.

From the book, "Over 40" Dating Pool: Where the pool is deep but the dating is shallow.



Published: Jan 10,2009 11:07
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